How Men Communicate Differently Than Women

Categories: Marriage Tips

By Denny Freeman on May 22, 2017

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“To women, intimacy means closeness. To men, it means vulnerability.”

When our kids were in college, I was amazed how long the telephone conversation was between my wife and my son Tom. Later on, I asked him about being on the phone for so long. He answered, “I just respond to Mom’s questions.” Then I understood.

When my wife talks to her daughters, I get exhausted just listening to them go on and on. I truly see how different men are from women. While women like to talk about their feelings and emotions, men like to think problems through to an action that provides a solution.

Men talk to problem solve.

Women draw close and become more intimate by conversing with their friends. They freely offer their advice and opinions and are quite open to talk about their problems.

Men don’t communicate this way. They
e usually very protective about discussing their feelings or problems with others, unless they want a solution. As a man, when a wife shares her problems, he usually offers a solution and many times that gets him in trouble.

Years ago, I learned this the hard way. Sandy would share a problem, and I would be all about giving her my opinion on what to do. Finally one day, she told me to stop trying to fix her. What she meant was, she wanted me to just listen and try to understand her better. I don’t think I’ve mastered this skill yet, but she said I’m much better at listening to her than in our earlier years.

To women, intimacy means closeness. To men, it means vulnerability. Relationships in general and intimacy in particular are all about taking down your defenses and leaving yourself open. That means trusting people enough to give them the power to emotionally injure you, which is absolutely contrary to a man’s nature.

In our next article, we’ll discuss ways to help you to communicate with your man.

Until next time,

FarmerD