Tips to Resolve Conflict

Categories: Marriage Tips

By Denny Freeman on July 3, 2017

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Dear Brides,

A way to help realize how healthy your relationship is with your guy is how you both handle conflict. I call it conflict resolution. This is a couple’s ability to discuss and resolve differences. It measures how effectively couples share opinions, issues, and feelings, especially during times of conflict.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself in this area:

- When we discuss problems, my partner understands my opinions and ideas.

- Sometimes we have serious disputes over unimportant issues.

- When we argue, I usually end up feeling responsible for the problem.

- I go out of my way to avoid conflict with my partner.

- My partner and I have different ideas about the best way to solve disagreements.

Conflict is a fact of married life, but most of us haven’t learned effective ways of resolving it. It takes love, respect, and skills to handle conflict.

Here are five styles of handling conflict.

Withdrawing: During conflict, you may withdraw physically by walking out of the room, or you may leave psychologically. This is the least effective way to deal with conflict because it means giving up on meeting goals and developing your marriage relationship.[spacer]
Winning: If you feel you must always look after your own interests, or if your self-concept is threatened in a conflict, you may be one who tries to win, no matter what the cost. I suggest a win-win solution and try to arrive at a decision that benefits the marriage relationship.[spacer]
Yielding: Giving in so you get along is a third way people react to conflict. Rather than risk a confrontation, they give in to the other person’s wishes. Usually, the conflict is never resolved.[spacer]
Compromising: Working towards a compromise attempts to address some of the person’s needs, but the bargaining involved may mean that you compromise some of your values.[spacer]
Resolving: When a couple adopts this style, open and direct communication results in changing a situation, attitude, or behavior. Naturally, this is the most effective style because, in the final analysis, relationships are strengthened as you seek to meet each other’s personal needs.[spacer]

Finally, instead of demanding that you be heard, listen carefully to your mate. Here’s the difficult part, most conflicts involve contributions from both parties. When you accept some responsibility for a problem, your mate seems more open to come with an open, understanding mind.

Until next time,

FarmerD