How to Manage Conflict in the Relationship

Categories: Marriage Tips

By Sarah on March 5, 2018

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Dear Brides:

In Prepare & Enrichs national survey of 50,000 couples, the issue of resolving conflicts was very important and differentiated between happy and unhappy couples. Those in happy relationships are more likely to feel understood by their partners and are able to share their feelings and opinions during disagreements. Happy couples are also more likely to resolve differences and agree on a plan of action to address conflict. Finally, partners in happy relationships are more likely to take their disagreements seriously.

Strengths of Happy Couples:

1. When we discuss problems, my partner understands my opinions and ideas.

2. I can share feelings and ideas with my partner during disagreements.

3. We are able to resolve our differences.

4. We have similar ideas about how to settle disagreements.

5. My partner takes our disagreements seriously.

After all, relationships will surely contain all of life’s blessings, pain, joy, surprises, and frustrations. Redefining conflicts as opportunities can help overcome negative issues and help you find value in adversity. Conflict can help you reset your relationship into a positive direction.

Conflict is normal and it doesn have to damage a relationship. Problems arise when couples don know how to manage conflict, especially when they use it destructively.

Top Five Conflict Issues For Couples:

1. I end up feeling responsible for the problem.

2. I go out of my way to avoid conflict with my partner.

3. We have different ideas about the best way to solve disagreements.

4. Some of our differences never get resolved.

5. We sometimes have serious disputes over unimportant issues.

Here’s a key point to always remember: the idea that conflict shouldn exist within a marriage is one of the lies that hinder a couple’s ability to be happy with each other. Conflict is a natural aspect of human relationship. People in relationships are going to have differences, and relationships will not always be harmonious. If handled in a healthy way, conflict will strengthen the relationship bond. If handled in an unhealthy manner, it can break down the relationship.

Another common obstacle to resolving conflict is when partners focus their criticism on the other person rather than on the problem.

Remember: Criticize the performance not the performer.

I’ve mentioned this before. One way I have helped myself overcome being overly defensive in times of conflict is to stop and realize that my wife, Sandy, truly has my best interest in her heart. Always! She loves me, period. This has helped me to keep a healthy focus and a positive attitude when there is conflict.

Until next time,

FarmerD