Do You Make Deposits into the Love Bank?

Categories: Marriage Tips

By Denny Freeman on December 4, 2017

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Dear Brides:

In my last article, I talked about two kinds of love: romantic love and caring love. Romantic love is a feeling or emotion thats hard to explain. All we can say is, we fell in love. My purpose in these articles is to help you to not fall out of love.

Dr. Harley, in his book, uses the idea of a love bank. This idea is like a money bank where you make deposits and withdrawals. In the same way, couples can make positive love deposits or negative love withdrawals. The more love deposits we receive, the better we feel.

This morning, I made the bed and left a card for my lovely wife, Sandy, sharing my love and desire for her. She said it really pleased her. Sandy is like every woman. She doesn’t want to be taken for granted, but wants me to be passionately in love with her– to desire her. Truly, that’s my goal everyday–to fall in love with her by showing her how much I love and appreciate her.

The love bank serves a vital role in our relationship. Depending on the balance in our love bank, our feelings or emotions encourage us to be with people who treat us well and avoid those who hurt us. We emotionally attracted to people with positive balances and repulsed by those with negative balances.

When the balance in our love bank account reaches a certain threshold, a very special reaction is triggered–we call it romantic love. We no longer simply like the person; we are in love. Being in love is an emotion of incredible attraction to someone who becomes very special in our lives.

When this happens, we want to spend more time with this person who makes us happy. When we’re together, we feel fulfilled, and when we
e apart, we feel lonely and incomplete. This leads the couple to want to spend their lives together.

The look of love not only communicates our feeling of love for someone, but also reflects our instinct to do whatever it takes to make that person happy.

But what goes up, can usually come down, and the love bank balances are no exception. As almost every married couple has discovered, the feelings of romantic love is more fragile than they may have originally thought. As the love bank balance drops below the romantic love threshold, a couple not only loses the feeling of passion for each other, but loses the instinct to make each other happy.

Instead of the look of love, couples have the look of apathy. And without that feeling of love, couples no longer want to spend their lives together.

In my next article, I will talk more about the kinds of deposits and withdrawals that can help or hurt a couples relationship.

Until next time,

FarmerD

Note: Photo Credit for the piggy bank image is from Quince Media on Pixabay.