Take This Survey!

Dear Brides,

Want a glimpse of what a pre-marital session is like? Well, take this survey! Here are ten questions to answer from Life Innovations, Inc*–which surveys thousands of couples. All the answers are true or false and Ive provided the answers afterwards. See how you do as you prepare for your wedding day and for your marriage.

1. Love is a poor predictor of who will stay married. T of F? TRUE – People are not naturally experts at developing relationships and it usually takes time and skills that can be learned. It takes time to learn about personalities, finances, and parenting just to name a few.
2. Your family (the one you grew up with) has little impact on your marriage. T or F?  FALSE. Each person brings to the marriage relationship, the influence of how they were raised. The dating stage is a good time to discuss those differences and decide what will be your direction as a couple.
3.  The single best predictor of a successful marriage is the couples age. T or F?  TRUE. The single best predictor of a successful marriage is age. The younger the couple are when they marry, the greater their chance of divorce. This is partly because older people are typically more stable and know what they want in marriage.
4. Couples prepare more for a wedding than for a marriage. T or F? TRUE. Couples spend more time and money preparing for their wedding which lasts only a day, than for their marriage. The choice of who you marry is one of the most important decisions in life, affecting almost every aspect of your future.
5. The average length of a marriage that ends in divorce is seven years. T or F?  TRUE. The average length of a marriage that ends in divorce in the US is seven years. Many people lack the relationship skills to deal successfully with the challenges that marriage offers. A successful marriage is achievable if couples are willing to commit to honoring their marriage pledge and to work things out together.
6. Relationships skills come naturally and cannot be learned. T or F?  FALSE. It takes effort, training, and education to learn a new job. Its no different in a new marriage. New relationships need time, patience, and understanding. After the wedding, continue to invest in your relationship.
7. The personality characteristic of the other person will bring out positive or negative traits as your own personality. T or F? TRUE. Depending on your personality, you will have to learn together how to relate and handle your differences together. Learning and understanding your partners personality and characteristic will help you to relate in your relationship.
8. Having children will dramatically change your life. T or F? TRUE. Your time isn your own anymore. Now, your life revolves around your baby instead of just resolving around you and your partner.
9. Most fathers are actively involved in their childrens lives. T or F?  FALSE. Of course, this depends on the father and his background, but likelihood is he grew up in a home where the father wasn very active with the children. But this seems to be changing in this generation. My sons are much more involved in their kids lives than I was, and Im grateful. So, its important to discuss with your partner the expectations and view of fatherhood now before getting married.
10. Each child costs about $80,000 to raise. T or F? FALSE. The actual figure is close to $100,000! Raising children is very expensive venture, no matter the familys income.

*Olson, David H., DeFrain, John & Olson, Amy. Building Relationships, Developing Skills for Life. Minneapolis: Life Innovations, Inc, 1999.