Dear Brides:
This Bride’s letter is for the guy you’re in love with. There was this couple I was marrying where he owned a beautiful red truck he loved. It was always in perfect condition when we’d met for our counseling sessions. I told him in one of our sessions that if he treated his future wife with the same care he treated his truck, then he’d be just fine.
Think about that lovely little lady you married for a minute. Sure, you love her in the vague and all-encompassing sense of the word. You honor her, especially when she makes you that special dinner or doesn’t turn down your request for a little morning action. You try your best to cherish her, even when she insists on giving you a play-by-play of her day when all you asked was how it was, and all you wanted to hear was “great.” But you and I know it. You don’t always appreciate her, and she certainly doesn’t always get the best version of you.
Don’t tell her I said this, but sometimes she is sort of like that recliner you love so much. She’s comfortable and dependable, and you probably wouldn’t even notice if somebody spilled a bowl of chili on her. Ok, you probably would notice, but in a nutshell, you mostly take her for granted.
The easy secret to making your wife happy is to treat her the way you treat your truck, or your car, or your toolbox, or your game box. It’s all about growing into a relationship of love and respect. All you must do is start treating her less like your old recliner and more like that shiny red truck that makes you so proud.
There is a spiritual principle you can apply to trucks and your marriage. You’ll reap what you sow. Sow good care and maintenance, then your vehicle will last for years. Sow neglect, then you’ll end up on the side of the road, waiting for a tow truck.
It’s the same in marriage relationships. I never cease to be amazed by guys who are shocked when their marriage falls apart. They assume the relationship will always be there, whether or not they give attention to it. For some bizarre reason, they have no forward radar for the most important relationship of their lives.
They’re like the guys who complain about the lack of sex in their marriage. Many of them get up each morning, have nothing pleasant to say to anyone, leave the house without kissing their wife, come home without giving her a hug, sit mutely at supper, slouch in front of the tv for three hours, then climb into bed and say, “Hey baby, let’s get it on.” Then they’re stunned and angry when their wife says, “No thanks!”
But guys, you can’t expect a return if you don’t give. You can’t reap where you haven’t sown. How about applying some of that same energy from your truck towards your relationship? Maybe it’s a Friday night date. Or a love note tucked somewhere for her to find.
Just like that truck, you want your wife to be around for the long haul. Believe me, some preventative marital maintenance will pay off down the road.
Until next time.
Farmer D
Featured Photo by Kyle Winkle on Unsplash