Dear Brides:
Have you asked yourself: What is a real man?
Is it one who can bench press 300 pounds? Maybe and maybe not! Is it one who can play several
sports well? Maybe and maybe not! Is it one who looks chill and has a sexy voice? Maybe and
maybe not!
As I reflect on my eighty years of life, I realize that for the first twenty or thirty years, I didn’t
have a clue what a real man was. Growing up, I thought being a real man was how I performed
on the football and baseball field and the basketball court. My parents encouraged me to be a
diligent worker at everything I did-so I did because I’d receive a long-term benefit.
But now, I have a different understanding of a real man.
Brant Hansen in his book, The Men We Need, gives an example of a real man that women
especially can relate to. It was a black-and-white photo of a guy in jeans with no shirt on, sitting
and holding a baby. That was it!
You’ve probably seen the poster called L’Enfant. Turns out it’s one of the best-selling posters of
all time, with over five million sold. So why is this poster so hot? Millions of women buy it
because of the way the baby is looking at the guy. He has his hand cradling the baby’s head; the
baby’s safe. And women think, we want a man like that.
When I see this picture, it's worth noting that women instinctively want to bring out the
best in us, men.
I ask a good question to men:
– What do women really want in a man?
– In a husband?
– In a father of their children?
So, I asked my wife, “What makes a real man?”
Her answer: “A man that lives with a purpose to serve his family. A man that listens, cares, and
shares his real feelings. A man that sets the example for his family to follow.”
Wow! She didn’t mention a great golf score, being a hard worker, or how much money he brings
home. Yes, she talked about a man living with purpose, possessing godly character, and is an
exemplary role model. (As a side note, that wasn’t me for the first eight years of our marriage.
Far from it!)
I’ve married several people. During the ceremony, the couple always recites the marriage vows-
it's considered making a lasting commitment to each other. The vows sound so wonderful on the
wedding day, but a godly man makes it his goal to live out those words every day to the best
of his ability.
Yes, for men, what they do and how they do it matters. The people in their neighborhood, at
their school, or at their workplace should be safer because they’re there. Even if they don’t know
it.
Let face it. As men, we make mistakes. We have flaws because we’re sinners saved by the grace
of Jesus Christ. But for men, they need to understand that living a godly life is a step-by-step
process. They can grow, improve, and become the men God has called them to be.
When I think about being a real man, here are two things I do for my wife these past ten years. I
help her by putting the dishes away and making our bed each morning. You’re probably thinking
that’s not such a big deal. Well, maybe not to you, but my wife thinks I’m hot for doing it.
We appreciate you, brides!
Denny Freeman
P.S. Feel free to share what you consider is a “real man” in Comments. Thank you.