Why Your Mate Can Complete You

Categories: Marriage Tips

By Sarah on April 30, 2018

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Dear Brides:

Our culture holds up romantic love as the greatest and noblest of pursuits. We are led to believe that the need for romantic affection is built into every one of us, so that we instinctively yearn for that tingly, bubbly feeling we call “falling in love.” We spend our lives in hopes of finding our soul mate-that one person out there just for us.

The message to those who aren’t married or least dating someone is: you won’t be content unless you’re in a relationship. And this starts early.

We were at Disney this month where children are offered visions of movies about princes and princesses living happily ever after. The not-so-subtle message that children pick up is: “If you don’t have a prince, then you can’t be a princess.”

For many, romantic love becomes the focus of their lives. Our popular culture tells us that love makes the world go around and all you need is love. Nearly all our music is about this kind of love, and it’s been that way for a long time. And we love our romance novels and movies.

The other day, I came across an article that listed the top ten romantic lines from the movies. You’d probably recognize most of them. The number one line, according to this list, was from the movie Jerry Maguire, starring Tom Cruise. You might remember the moment when Tom Cruise turns to Renee Zellweger with tear-filled eyes and quivering lips, says, “You complete me.” The whole movie has been building up to that one line. What Jerry Maguire couldn’t find in success at work or in casual hookups, he finally finds in romantic love.

But here’s the real truth. Another person cannot complete you! That’s the problem with romantic love. It will wear out fast because it’s grounded in emotions and feelings. The truth is, you’re only complete when you allow God to complete you.

Yes, God! Hes the one that created us. And we are made for him. A relationship with a life partner is a wonderful and precious gift, but it was never meant to replace a relationship with the giver.

When you look to someone to be your God, they are going to let you down. When you say to someone, “I want you to complete me. I want you to satisfy me. I want you to be my source of significance,” what you’re really saying is, “I want you to be God to me.” Well, that’s a lot to ask of someone. That puts much pressure on the relationship, and given time that pressure will cause cracks.

The god of romantic love promises big but pays off in pain. The adrenaline rush of a new love isn’t built to last. It passes. The honeymoon ends.

The truth is: you and I were made for love far deeper, far richer than any human relationship can offer.

Don’t misunderstand, marriage is good. God isn’t against it; in fact he’s the one who came up with it. But as fantastic as human love is, it can never be a substitute for God’s love.

The void in the human heart is God-shaped, not mate-shaped.

In my future letters, I want to talk about the different kinds of love, so we can see the difference.

Until next time,

FarmerD