Why Your Relationship Is Like a River

Categories: Marriage Tips

By Sarah on January 22, 2018

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Dear Brides:

A popular example used to understand marriage and family relationships are a river. The river metaphor accentuates the ever-changing nature of relationships. On the surface, a couple may look relatively stable, but a deeper examination reveals “undercurrents” that change from moment to moment, altering the flow of the relationship. After all, couples are comprised of individuals affected by their own experiences and their changing ideas and desires over time.

Relationships change over time for everyone. It’s just natural. For example, your relationship changes when your toddler becomes a child, a teen, then an adult. In a marriage, relationships are impacted when a child arrives on the scene.

Considering the natural changes that takes place in every experience, it’s surprising that many people are not intentional in knowing their partner better and staying connected. The assumption is that a good relationship flows naturally. It’s a well known fact that it takes work and skills for your relationships to work out for the best.

Just as a river requires replenishment, so do relationships. Relationships change as they flow through time: from work demands, physical and mental health issues, and countless other ways in which our time and energies are dissipated.

Your relationship deserves a checkup from time to time. A vacation, a weekend get-away, or a marriage retreat with other couples. Sandy and I have been on two marriage retreats this past year to give us more understanding of our relationship. A checkup is a deliberate way to replenish your relationship. Is it required? No! But I wonder why 50% of today’s marriages fail.

Relationships are living, dynamic entities that require steady doses of nurturing as well as periodic health checks. If you fail to do so, you may hear statements such as, “I didn’t realize he felt that way.” Or, “I feel as though we don know each other anymore.” It’s very easy to “drift apart,” especially with the demands of raising children and making ends meet. Couples can feel like theyve lost the intimate bond they once had.

I know I am sounding like youve already tied the knot. But I just want you both to be better prepared for what lies ahead, so you can make healthy decisions today to protect your relationship.

In closing, I know how hard it is for a couple with a busy family to stay connected. We raised six children with a very busy lifestyle. But one thing we learned in our 54 years of marriage is to plan a date night every week. Our night was usually Friday evening unless we had a conflict in our schedule. It was amazing how that one night every week really helped us to connect with each other.

Until next time,

FarmerD