Can You Last until “Death Do Us Part?”

Dear Brides:

On June 1, 2023, my wife and I will celebrate sixty years of marriage. Where did all those years go by? After six children and seventeen grandchildren and twenty great-grandchildren, life is still being lived together.

Nearly sixty years ago, we stood at the altar and vowed: “I promise to love, honor, and cherish you in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, until death do us part.”

After we said those vows, we realized “until death do us part,” is a long time. And being a loving, honoring, cherishing spouse all day, every day is no easy feat. By most accounts, it borders on the impossible. Not to mention that living with another person, which typically means sharing the same bed, the same bathroom, and the same thermostat, can try even the most temperate of personalities.

If you’re among the blessed, you’re not daily bickering about the big things, namely money, sex, and kids. Most married couples admit often they argue about trivial matters.

What do you mean, Farmer D? Well, trivial things like he left crumbs in the sink again! He forgot to pick up the dry cleaning like I asked him to! And who puts the empty milk carton back in the refrigerator, anyway? These are just a few from the long list of transgressions he commits continually as he demonstrates his skillful ability to descend into pig-like behavior.

Many of us willingly pick a fight with our spouses over some petty thing that, if committed by almost anyone else in the world, we’d graciously let it slide.

Part of the problem is that pesky living-together business. When you’re confined to a small space relative to the rest of the planet, the people you share that space with get front row seats to your every action, good or bad. The highs often go by without a lot of fanfare, but those lows sure want to kick you in the butt every time.

Here’s the thing: we’re not bad people, far from it. We’re human. We have value. God loves us all.

Yet, let’s face it, often we feel as though this would be a great planet if it weren’t for people.

And it’s human nature to take things for granted. The result is, we don’t appreciate things that become commonplace in our lives.

So, what’s the bottom line to this little letter? It’s to share simple bits of advice about how you can continually care and cherish one another as you pledged your heart to, and because in the end, you get what you give.

Until next time,

Farmer D